Five stupid things about the label ‘Yoga body’

Ok. Guilty. It’s been a while. No need to remind me. I’ve been reminding myself everyday for quite a few months. Luckily (for who exactly?), I’m wound up enough to express my emotions through blog.

There are two words I think should be struck from the English language with intensity. Like angrily crossing something off a list with a sharp pencil. Or angry purple crayon.

Those words are ‘yoga body’.
‘Yoga body’. And one more time – ‘yoga body’.
Who the hell is the punk who came up with this label??!!

I take gorilla pose very seriously. I actually look like a gorilla.

I take gorilla pose very seriously. I actually look like a gorilla.

I love yoga. On a good week I make three lunch time sessions and three after work and for good measure I throw in pilates once in a while.
I’ve dabbled with yoga previously but this time things are getting serious. I have two mats, two fancy non-skid towels, mat spray, a special yoga top with a built in bra, my own block, strap and foam roller, and I’m thinking of getting a headband with ‘I heart yoga’ plastered on the front. Have I bought into the fad of fancy fitness gear?… No, I don’t think so.

I even have two studios I pay an unlimited subscription to and the crazy thing is that I actually turn up rather than pay the usual gym donation (big shout out to Abundance and The Yoga Lounge)!

See?! I love yoga.

What I really don’t love though is the discussion on what constitutes a yoga body.
Let me just be clear. I do not have a yoga body. Whatever the hell it’s supposed to be.

Do my ankles look big in these leg warmers?

Do my ankles look big in these leg warmers?

I have sturdy, solid thighs – which I’m told is a proud, hereditary trait of the fierce, strong women in my family (in fact, my aim for a while now has been to have such strong thighs that I can crack coconuts between them – Too much information).  I have a curved spin which makes me look like a turtle in forward folds. I have unnaturally short arms which means reaching my toes was celebrated with the same enthusiasm as the moon landing.
And last but not least, I have a broken tail bone so when I’m told to sit properly on my sit bones I start to feel a little punchy.

So why should I even like yoga? Good question wise listener.

It’s empowering. It’s hard. It’s sweaty. It’s ego shattering. It’s satisfying. It’s soothing. It’s energising. And it makes me realise how strong I am. Both mentally and physically.
Shit that’s deep.

So with my crazy twisted spine, short little squirrel arms and broken tail, I get really frustrated when articles describe yoga bodies as something I’m not, nor will ever be.

With that, I’m giving you five stupid things about the label ‘yoga body’.

  1. Whilst trying to check out if you have a ‘yoga body’, you will spend too much time looking at the mirror in your studio and smack your forehead on the floor during crow pose.
  2. It’s likely you will buy a bra, tights or sparkly top a size too small because you think it is the size of someone who should have a ‘yoga body’. You will never wear said item of clothing as it cuts off your circulation and makes you lose the will to live.
  3. When you see endless ‘fitspo’ (don’t even get me started on that label), images of people with ‘yoga bodies’, you will get angry at the internet. And the internet is your friend. That’s where Netflix lives.
  4. Because you are trying to hard to fit into the expectations of a ‘yoga body’, you will bare not a part of your actual body to the outside world. Which is a shame because your actual body is beautiful. And you will also be vitamin D deficient.
  5. If you become too consumed with your ‘yoga body’, You’ll miss out on the real benefits of yoga. Inner awesomeness. And let’s be frank, everyone could do with a little more inner awesomeness.

It’s not all doom and gloom though, there are some very impressive people out there doing great work to crack this ceiling of expectations around the ‘yoga body’. I’d like to salute My Real Yoga Body and Richard Widmark from the Raw Experience who are doing a remarkable amount of good by changing how we see yoga bodies.

On a final note, happy Yoga day everybody! May your tree pose be strong and your forward folds bendy.

Wellbeing is a blue rinse away

A couple of days ago I started writing a blog post about butter.

Yep. Butter.

It’s probably not a huge surprise – given my lengthy absence from this blog – that I’ve been suffering from a severe case of writers block. I couldn’t even muster a witty email until very recently (some may comment that I still can’t….).

Now I still plan to post that riveting analysis of the second best part of a cow. So you still get to look forward to that with unjustified enthusiasm.

But it’s going to have to wait.

A couple of hours ago I got a hair cut.

I’m one of those lucky people whose hairdresser also doubles as both counsellor and very dear friend. This is not a deal that Matthew really had much of a say in, but he’s been a very good sport and has kindly refrained from changing his number on me.

Anyway, he cuts a damn good head of hair. So much so that I feel a little like Don King hustling his talent (currently sporting the same haircut… coincidence?…).

Damn I'm good looking

Damn I’m good looking

So I’m sitting in the chair with my newly bleached, then blue rinsed, then shorn, then mohawked hair and I started to feel a feeling I’ve been missing in recent weeks… Enthusiasm.

It’s no big secret that I am Gollum’s grumpy cousin in Winter. Some demon takes over me that turns me into a giant pain in the ass. No amount of dairy-free, sugar-free, 85% cocoa mocklate can get me out of my slump (it seriously calls for the good stuff).

As Matthew has known me for quite sometime, and being the well adjusted human man that he is, he has developed a coping mechanism for my visits – wine.

So I’m sitting there with my grumpy cat face on and as my haircut is taking shape, my face is transforming into something I haven’t seen for a while. I think people call it a smile.

Lilac is the new blue rinse

Lilac is the new blue rinse

It dawned of me all of a sudden that wellbeing for me, is getting my creative groove on. I didn’t need those 30 hours of therapy after all! All I needed was a haircut and a blue rinse!

Creativity and in turn wellbeing comes in many, many different forms – baking, painting, singing, working, gardening, running, writing, speaking, a bit of pampering – whatever. For me, it’s doing something out of the ordinary.

And a good, colorful haircut was just what I needed to move my slump. 

Consider this a public service announcement. This is my list of ten things to get your creative juices flowing and increase your wellbeing:

  1. Get a haircut. You don’t have to go all out. Get a trim. Spruce yourself up. 
  2. Eat chocolate. The REAL stuff. As good as healthy chocolate can be. There is no substitute for cocoa and sugar. Strike me down. I said it.
  3. Write. Something. Anything. It could be your name over and over again if that’s what it takes (not judging), but writing helps.
  4. Be nice to people. I have a theory – Work hard, have fun, be nice to people. Genius!
  5. Pet a dog. If you have a crippling fear of dogs, you can substitute ‘dog’ for parakeet, kitten or miniature pony. It’s really not important.
  6. Donate to charity. Time or money, it doesn’t matter. Nothing is as good for your wellbeing as positively contributing to the wellbeing of someone else.
  7. Hug someone. Science tells us that babies benefit from close human contact. If it works for babies than chances are it works for big people.
  8. Breathe in fresh air. Even though it’s cold, and even though the couch is tempting, crisp oxygen will rejuvenate you whether you realise it or not.
  9. Finish something. This is vague. And that’s intentional. I am the grand starter of many things, finisher of none. But finishing stuff gives you immense satisfaction. Don’t judge me for quitting the crochet blanket/onesie.
  10. Be kind… to yourself. Your grump will pass and you’ll run out of recorded programmes on MySky and life will resume as normal. Breathe in. Now breathe out. And chill out.

If you want a number 11. I would highly recommend giving Hot Bikram Yoga a try. It’s not for everyone, but nothing says “get over yourself” like sweating profusely in a room that smells like mince meat with a bunch of half naked contortionists.

That’s all folks. Until next time. Enjoy the ride x

Winter – the serial killer of motivation

It’s almost 1pm on Saturday afternoon. I’ve just managed to pry myself off the couch and out of my jammies. I’ve also just finished half a family sized block of milk chocolate… And I’m considering going back for the second half.

“Nooooooo!!!!” You cry. “How have you slipped so low???”

Not even this will help.

Not even this will help.

If you are regularly reading my blog, then you’ll know I have been absent for the last few weeks. I’m sure you noticed and you’ve been missing me.

The problem is Winter.

Well, actually, it’s Autumn but I lump them both in the same camp.

You see, I suffer from SAD. Seasonal Affliction Disorder for those of you not in the know. SAD is a quasi-scientific affliction which causes sufferers to become grumpy, unmotivated, hungry for baked goods, a giant pain in the ass to be around and blame Mother Nature for her complete lack of respect of the need for sunshine.

And boy oh boy have I got it.

Sometimes SAD announces it’s arrival with the precise change of seasons, and sometimes it sneaks up on you when you’re least expecting it. One day you’re fine and you easily get up at 6am for your 5km run followed by your kale smoothie. The next day your favourite pair of shoes are your slippers and you don’t even remember if they were meant to be grey?

What do you mean I can't wear them outside?!

What do you mean I can’t wear them outside?!

I’m probably being slightly over dramatic (yet another symptom of SAD). It’s not like I’ve completely gone to the dogs. I’m still going to yoga 2-3 times a week, loving my weekly personal training session and climbing up some mountain every weekend. But now, when I indulge in a few pieces of chocolate and lie completely prone on the couch like a statue, I don’t wail in distress and leap off the couch and into a series of lunges. Instead, I break off another piece and sink myself lower into my butt groove.

The great news about SAD is that it’s not permanent.

The moment the sun comes out for more than four consecutive seconds and the wind dies down enough so that my hair isn’t accidentally styled into a mohawk, I’ll start feeling like a fully function human being again.

There are other things you can do to counter the effects as well. Here is my list of five things to help you out of your SAD slump.

  1. Eat comfort food. There is a good reason why they call it ‘comfort’ food. Delicious food really is good for the soul. I’m not for one second suggesting you go out and buy two litres of Coke and a packet of Twisties. That is NOT comfort food. That is called eating your feelings. I’m talking about a good, real, honest, home cooked feast. Try this Molten Lava Chocolate Cake from the Paleo Mom. I DARE you to not to feel better.
  2. Buy good looking gym pants. And then wear them on the couch. Seriously. I bought this incredible pair of yoga pants from Lululemon and they are the epitome of comfort. Lying on the couch has never felt this good. And strangely, it actually started to motivate me to leave the house. It’s like voodoo.
  3. Be grateful for Winter. Now this is tough. It can be downright impossible to find things that make you feel great about the fourth ‘100 year storm’ in one week. But there really are some things about Winter that aren’t completely awful – falling asleep to the rain outside, mulled wine, extra woolly socks, ear muffs, skiing/snowboarding (if you are that way inclined… I am not), all types of soup, and not having to make an excuse to stay in doors and watch a Simpsons marathon. See? That’s just a few to get you started.
  4. Watch Jenna Marbles. If you haven’t seen a Jenna Marbles video then I just don’t know who you are. This girl has 13,000,000 subscribers to her Youtube videos!! That is cray cray! There is a good reason for it. She’s hilarious. A couple of my favourite videos – How Home Workouts Work, Better Names for Animals and Drunk Makeup Tutorial (which, by the way, has been viewed more than 18,000,000 times!!! So I’m not the only one who enjoys it). You’re welcome.
  5. Be kind to yourself. As easy as it is to fall down the hole of “I’m the worst person in the world because I haven’t showered for two days and I’ve abandoned kale and quinoa for white bread and coffee”, you’re actually a perfectly awesome human being. Let it go. You’ll come right. This is only temporary. Buy yourself a nice pen and a warm pair of socks. Maybe get the Pharrell album and play ‘Happy’ on repeat a 100 times.

So there you go. I hope I’ve been forgiven for neglecting you. I promise to write another post soon… While I wait for my fondue to cook. Until next time, enjoy the ride. x

 

Five signs your healthy life style has gone too far

This morning I completed my first ever Xterra trail run.

By all accounts. I should’ve loved it.

What’s not to love?! The short course (which seemed like a good place to start), is 6km of uphill, through gorse, onto clay, down gravel, up again, down again, up again, down again and finally – when your spirit is destroyed – another 1km on the flat to the finish. Fun right?!

Looking way happier than I felt

Looking way happier than I felt

Weeellll… Actuallly… Not so much.

Perhaps I’m being a party pooper or perhaps I just don’t like being passed by a 10 year old, but I can’t say it was my best or my favourite run ever.

I can’t really put my finger on it. It wasn’t the 3km of steep uphill on treacherous clay. It wasn’t the gorse I seemed unable to avoid which gave my legs a good shredding. It wasn’t the bone grinding vertical downhill or the grassy slip and slide or the nearly assing it right over the side of a cliff or the up where there should have been down.

It wasn’t specifically any of those things.

I think my problem is that the millions of things I’ve signed up for – salsa dancing, hot yoga, hatha yoga, climbing and burlesque to name a few – are beginning to feel like a bit of a chore.

Once we got through the gauntlet of serious runners – who obviously missed the “We’re all here to have fun” briefing – and made it to the finish line, I turned to Jeff and said “Shall we sign up for the next one?”

Am I mad?! Seriously!? That’s crackers!

This got me thinking, how do you know when your new healthy lifestyle has gone too far?

I used to think that when my friends came over for dinner and said something like “Ooooohhh I see you’ve bought another cookbook dedicated to quinoa” that they were impressed with my enthusiasm for the superfood grain (it IS very versatile you know).

Upon reflection however, they may have actually been thinking “Oh god are we having quinoa in every dish again?!!”

So here are five signs to help you recognise when you’re enthusiasm has become maniacal obsession.

1. Your pantry is full of health foods, whole foods and supplements that you don’t know what do with… And it reflects in your bank account. I’m yet to find a recipe with Maca Powder that doesn’t actually taste like dirt. Maybe it’s supposed to taste like dirt?

Now where did I put the cactus root?

Now where did I put the cactus root?

2. You can’t attend a social occasion without first providing the host with a detailed description of what you can and can’t eat –

“I’m not eating orange coloured fruits and vegetables at the moment but I do eat green vegetables on Wednesdays and red fruits on Fridays. There’s only a couple more things: No wheat, dairy, yeast or soy. No fruit after lunch time, carbs after breakfast, protein before 5pm. I’m only eating foods which I have physically collected myself. Is this a problem? What time should we come round?”

3. Likewise, your social life is determined by when and where you have the next event you’ve signed up for –

“Mum, I would love to catch up with Aunty So-and-so and Cousin What’s-his-name, but I have a yoga retreat/ultra marathon/salsa competition/insert sporting event that I just cannot miss.”

4. You own industrial strength kitchen machinery for your blending, processing, mashing, mixing and general healthy food preparation which is worth as much as your car. Maybe more. I want to be buried with my cherry red Kitchenaid mixer… And blender… And food processor.

5. Your nicest clothes by far are exercise clothes. This makes it somewhat awkward when Jeff wants to take me out for a nice dinner of gluten free tacos and I ask if I can wear my yoga tights. Lululemon you have a lot of answer for.

Don’t get me wrong now. I love the healthy me. I really do. But sometimes it’s important when to know you  need a break.

If you want to eat a Lindt chocolate bunny instead of your organic sugar-free date bar, that’s totally fine. If you want to lie on the couch for the weekend and watch a Breaking Bad marathon while drinking margaritas, do it. And enjoy it. Most importantly, enjoy it.

Enjoy the ride! x

The great fake chocolate taste-off

I know the exact moment that I became addicted to chocolate.

When Dad used to make lunch for me and my brother Bjorn, he used to put a couple of pieces inside a buttered bread roll.

Understandably, at school Bjorn and I were very popular at lunchtime. While all the other kids had to contend with dreaded Vegemite (I’m a Marmite gal myself), we were getting buzzed on a lunchtime sugar high.

Several years later, I gave up chocolate in bread disguised as lunch, and took up including a Milky Bar/Caramello/Dairy Milk/KitKat in my daily diet.

With becoming a healthy person, I’ve had to give up my chocolate friend which has nurtured and sustained me through childhood and into adulthood. It was hard.

Now that I’m on a regular, sustainable healthy wagon, I thought it was time to be brave and investigate the world of healthy(ish) chocolate.

Chocolate tasting in the name of science

Chocolate tasting in the name of science

Consider this a public service announcement, Jeff and I have tried and tested six different types of non-GMO, raw, organic, sugar-free, dairy-free, bars of goodness. With varying results. I’m wary of a laxative effect any moment now.

I should warn you, if you’re going to give up your KitKat in favour of raw, organic or sugar-free chocolate, you should prepare yourself for the financial fallout.

Put it this way, for this wee experiment, six chocolate bars – none weighing more than 45 grams – cost me over $30. Ouch.

My favourite was over $8 for 45 grams. Double ouch.

The other thing to mention is that sometimes you just want a Creme Egg and I say go for it. Eating everything because it’s good for you is great, but don’t forget that sometimes, it’s nice to eat something for no other reason than you enjoy it. Everything in moderation, including moderation!

So, based on the very scientific evaluation formula that Jeff and I established for this experiment – ratings out of 10 for taste, texture and assumed quality – and in order of least enjoyed to most enjoyed… Here are the results:

Damn you sweetner.

Damn you sweetner.

Cavalier – Praline Milk – 3/10

By all accounts, this should have been my favourite. I love milk chocolate. And I LOVE praline with chocolate. There are no two things that should go better together than chocolate and praline.

Well I can tell you that this is just down right terrible. I blame the Maltitol.

Something about the taste of it made my tongue retreat into my mouth. Jeff summed it up perfectly when he said it tasted like an old bed sheet. Shame.

 

Raw cacao dirt

Raw cacao dirt

Wild Heart – Raw Organic Chocolate with Cacao Nibs – 4.5/10

Aside from the sweet packaging, this chocolate bar is also 73% raw cacao and has only three ingredients – cacao nibs, coconut sugar and cacao butter.

It tastes like it’s good for you. It’s bitter and raw tasting with just the right amount of sweet. Unfortunately, it has the texture of soil and makes you want to clean out your mouth with a high pressure hose.

Melted with hot almond milk might be a total winner.

 

Cacao kick up the pants

Cacao kick up the pants

Rapunzel – 85% Kakao Bitterschokolade – 4.75/10

Jeff and I were completely divided on this bar. While Jeff thoroughly enjoyed it, I couldn’t get past a strange aftertaste akin to something industrial.

No translation is needed for ‘Bitterschokolade’. At 85% cacao this was the most bitter of the bunch. It also was the only one that contained actual sugar, though, as I can’t read German, I couldn’t tell you how much.

Also, this bar was the cheapest at under $2, but it was also only 20 grams which doesn’t even touch the sides of any true chocolate lover.

 

Would you like algae with your chocolate?

Would you like algae with your chocolate?

Loving Earth – Mint and A.F.A Raw Organic Chocolate – 5/10

Now this is a crowd who’ve nailed their packaging. This isn’t a review of packaging however.

Again, Jeff and I were split. I really enjoyed the fresh and bitter minty taste of this bar while Jeff thought it was a big powdery mess. Harsh words.

With blue-green algae in the mix, you know it has to be good for you. For added goodness, it also contains all organic ingredients and it’s specified as vegan. Ok then.

I would keep a pack of this in my handbag. Just in case.

 

Supermarket find!

Supermarket find!

Well, Naturally – Sugar-Free Dark Chocolate with Almond Chip – 7/10

Well this one was a surprise.

This bar was from the supermarket and the second cheapest of the lot. Both Jeff and I enjoyed the crunchy almond pieces and sweet yet not-too-sweet taste.

It does contain Erythritol, which seems to be the hot new sweetener in the club, but research so far says it’s the lesser of sweetener evils.

This bar also containers Stevia but without the weird Stevia taste a lot of other products get. Not bad. Not bad at all.

 

Basically a health food

Basically a health food

Raw Hearts Hine Cacao – Stoneground Raw Organic Chocolate infused with Wildcrafted Manuka and Orange Essential Oils – 8.25/10

Yum. Oh my god yum. I would bathe in this if I could (and if it didn’t cost me over $8 for 45 grams!).

This chocolate is crazy delicious. It’s sweet at 67% cacao, with a hint of orange and a hint of Manuka honey.

It has the most glorious texture that melts in your mouth like chocolate should!

A slightly unusual extra is the addition of raisins, which it doesn’t really need but they add a nice little something, something rather than just being weird.

This chocolate has our friend Stevia and also coconut sugar. Pleasingly, no weird Stevia taste which makes me extra happy.

If it wasn’t for the price, I would buy this in bulk. In fact, I still may! Delicious!

So there you have it. Now you don’t have to eat all that chocolate because we’ve done it for you. You’re welcome.

I’m keen to hear what other delicious healthy chocolate is out there so leave a comment and let me know!

Until next time. Enjoy the ride!

 

 

What a pain in the ass

A couple of weekends ago, I finished my first 10km race. That’s 10 whole kilometres of non-stop running. 10,000 metres of burning thighs. An average of 8,500 steps of sweaty eyebrows.

image

Now I'd like pancakes.

Understandably, I was pretty thrilled. Even more so because this time last year, if you’d suggested to me I would be running 10km I would’ve laughed, then cried and then ate another piece of bacon dipped in nutella.

I really enjoy running. This usually surprises people because running is
such a solitary sport and I am not… ahem… a solitary person.

Yet, something about running on a lonely road at dusk, with no end in sight, and your concentration on nothing more than putting one foot in of the other, is really appealing to me.

Maybe it’s because I really like the sound of my own voice and so I have ample time to talk to myself. Who knows.

A couple of years back when my dog Chuck was a wriggling ball of endless enthusiasm and energy (now she’s found smackos. We’re good), we used to take her out running. She was all paws and tongue and she generally didn’t care where we were going as long as she was glued to your legs.

On one occasion, her enthusiasm got the better of both of us.

I won’t say exactly who is to blame because it’s uncharitable to blame a cute two year old pug, but she stopped right in front of me and I fell.

I remember the exact moment my disc crunched my sciatic nerve. I remember the exact moment that lightening bolts of pain shot down my leg and into my toes. I remember the exact moment I said a lot of swear words that would embarrass even the most unsavory of characters.

And there went my plans of running a half marathon. Just like that. In the hyperextension of a knee.

Over the next few years I tried every therapy available to satisfy the chronic, often excrutiating and constant pain running through my leg:

Tramadol = Nothing says “hire me!” Like throwing up on the first day of your temp job. Hello hallucinations.

Physiotherapy = That gel is cold and I’m paying you how much, to do what?

Bowen Therapy = Still not entirely sure what this does but I think its working?

Chiropractor = Should my spin be pointing in that direction?

Acupressure = Should I be bruising like that?

Acupuncture = Have I mentioned I don’t like needles?

Orthapedic surgeon = You’re telling me I just have to “learn to live with it”?!!

image

Yes, that IS an ice pack on my ass.

None of this worked for me. And for the past few years I learned to cope and accept that I would never run in the way that I wanted to.

When I changed my lifestyle though, I changed my attitude.

For too long I’d been satisfied that pain would be the master of me and I was sick of it.

So this year I started running again.

I started small. The odd kilometer here and there. A hill walk punctuated by a burst of runnning. Some vertical hikes up the sides of mountains.

Then one day I went for a run and realised that at 7.5km I was at the longest distance I had ever run!!!!

And that Saturday, I ran my first 10km.

Sure, it turned out that the run was part of some medical conference and it didn’t appear it was open to the public (“who’s enjoying the conference?!??!” Ummm what?). Sure, it meant getting up at 5.30 in the morning on a Saturday. Ew. Sure, I came last.

But I did it. And I felt unstoppable.

It sounds bizarre, but I talk to my pain. I treat it like a member of my extended family. I can’t choose it. And it may always be there. Sometimes it overstays its welcome. And sometimes I need a glass of wine and a panadol to help me through it.

But now I know that I’m the boss and it doesn’t have to own me… Well now I can train for that half marathon aye.

Enjoy the ride x

Things you can’t put in a waffle maker

A very, very good friend of mine bought Jeff and I a waffle maker for our engagement some time ago. This waffle maker instantly became MY waffle maker and mine only.

I love pancakes and I love waffles equally. But the hassle of getting out a fry-pan and having to flip pancakes always seemed to complicated for someone like me so well suited to instant gratification. Welcome to my life waffle maker.

Within 24 hours of owning this beautiful contraption, I had “cooked” three batches of different flavoured waffles – cinnamon and vanilla, blueberry and the ever popular – plain.

image

What waffles should look like

It didn’t take long before I was experimenting with all things you could put in the waffle maker – omelette, bacon, french toast, tomatoes, potato hashbrowns, coconut pancakes and more recently – banana pancakes.

There are some things that you sensibly know you can’t put in a waffle maker but that doesn’t stop you.

Omelette is a great example. If you have any common sense at all, you’ll know that this is never going to work. So what does that say about me then?

The “omelette incident” – as it is now referred to in our house – was the first time I panicked a bit while using the waffle maker. I don’t think it was supposed to let off quite that much steam…. Or spit. It definitely wasn’t meant to spit. After the “omlette incident” I spent about 45 minutes scrubbing egg particles off the waffle maker. Never again.

I lost my nerve a wee bit after that. No delicious food mush was worth the exhaustive cleaning.

The problem with normal pancakes is that they have a lot of flour in them. Actually, it tends to be the main ingredient. So after a decent amount of time had past since my last waffle maker experiment, I started to investigate what delicious, healthy and flour-free waffles I could make.

One of the most delicious and perfect pancake/waffle hybrid recipes I found was with coconut flour. These coconut flour pancakes have become my go-to food if I’m too lazy too cook anything else. They’re absolutely delicious and I highly recommend trying them out. A word of warning though… I would suggest a fry-pan rather than a waffle maker. Despite their nomnomishness they turned out more like crepes than waffles or pancakes and there was a lot of frantic scraping before left an indelible mark on the waffle maker.

The other healthy pancake I’ve was curious about was the two ingredient pancake (note: mine did NOT look like the picture). This recipe has banana and egg in it. That is all. What could possibly go wrong?!

Well just about everything.

The first indication that banana and egg wasn’t going to work in a waffle maker should’ve been when I was mixing up the batter.

With no flour to bind to the egg and banana, and no rising agent to make it, well, rise, it should’ve been pretty obvious that an instant heat waffle maker was the wrong way to go.

The moment the mixture hit the hot waffle iron it spread like molten banana goo. Every inch of the surface was covered, and then over the side. And then in every crevice possible – including all the ones that you can never reach with normal cleaning items. And then all over the bench.

I didn’t think there could be much left to cook.

I was actually too scared to open the lid at first. What exactly was I going to find under there? A giant mess that’s what.

There was this lumpy, half cooked, slightly crepe/pancake looking, definitely not waffle looking, brown substance staring back at me.

All I could do was momentarily freeze on the spot with spatula in hand while it continued to oooze over the sides. Eventually I got up the courage to jab at it with the spatula.

This is a banana pancake/waffle.

This is a banana pancake/waffle.

What I ended up with was a plate of half cooked banana slop. Which I ate. And it was delicious.

Would I make it again in a waffle maker. No. Not immediately anyway. I can’t say that I definitely wouldn’t try it again in a waffle maker because eventually I will forget what a disaster it was.

So, my top three things that you shouldn’t put in a waffle maker are:

  1. Pancakes/waffles that only have two ingredients and neither are flour.
  2. Recipes that specifically say ‘Do not cook in waffle maker’.
  3. Omelettes. Any of them. It’s a terrible idea.

On the other hand, these are three of my favourite waffle/pancake recipes:

  1. Coconut Flour Pancakes (disclaimer – cook them in a frypan)
  2. Maple Peanut Banana Bread Waffles
  3. Healthy Whole Wheat Waffles

May you and your waffle maker have a long, happy life together. Enjoy the ride!